Good listeners are fully present. Eye contact. Body language. Intentionally ignoring distractions (“I’ll let that call go to voicemail so we can finish”). Using emotional intelligence to match or change the mood and pace of the other person. All of these actions signify your commitment to truly tuning in to others.
What you do after a conversation is equally important. The span of time between a conversation and your followup action is often the way people measure whether you got their message and it really mattered. Even when you can’t take immediate action on something, you can send a followup note to say you’re working on it, rather than leaving that person wondering or worse yet, worrying.
Also, if you’re working on being a better listener, let people know, especially folks for whom you know it really matters. Ask them to give you feedback — negative and positive — on how you’re doing.
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Jill Geisler, Bill Plante Chair in Leadership & Media Integrity at Loyola University Chicago and Freedom Forum Fellow in Women’s Leadership