Actually, I have lots of lists. But this particular list keeps growing – in a good way.
At last count, I had 104 different resilience resources on it.
104!
I call them my resilience ingredients.
I began my list two years ago by reflecting on what exactly went into my resilience.
There were the obvious things – nutrition, exercise, sleep.
But there’s more to resilience than just the basics.
Starting that list changed the way I think about resilience.
Each of us has a Well of Resilience.
It holds the resources we draw from to meet the demands of our lives.
Some of those resources are within us: knowledge, perspective, experience, humor, confidence, beliefs.
Some come from the people around us: family, friends, neighbors, community, someone who listens, or shows up when we need them.
And some are practical resources: a safe place to live, healthcare, transportation, financial stability, access to help when we need it.
Then there are the wonderfully ordinary things that restore us.
Books. Music. Time outside. Pets. Coffee with a friend. Doing something creative. Learning something new. Laughing until your stomach hurts.
All of these resources add to our well of resilience.
And then life happens.
Stress. Fatigue. Pain. Illness. Grief. Caregiving. Uncertainty. Conflict. Too little sleep. Too much news.
Trying to carry things that were never ours to carry in the first place.
These things draw from our well.
Sometimes slowly.
Sometimes by the bucketful.
And sometimes we have several of them happening at once.
That’s when it’s easy to wonder, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not handling this better?”
I think the more useful question is, “What’s happening with my resources?”
Because life has been making some pretty big withdrawals.
And maybe what you need isn’t to think more positively, or try harder when you’re already depleted.
Maybe you need more resources.
Or fewer drains.
Because sometimes resilience is about replenishing the well.
And sometimes resilience is about stopping the drain.
So begin where you are.
Notice what’s filling your well.
Notice what’s draining it.
And tend your well.
You can’t control everything that drains it…
but you can choose what you put in your bucket.
A Gentle Reflection:
Take a look at your own Well of Resilience.
What’s going into it right now?
What’s coming out?
And perhaps most importantly:
Where do you have a choice?
Begin to notice what restores you, what depletes you, and where one small change might make a difference.
"You can’t control everything that drains your well, but you can choose what you put in your bucket.”— Melody West
Tiny Self Care Tip:
Make your own resilience list.
Start with five things that restore you or help you handle life when it gets difficult.
Keep the list somewhere you can see it.
You may be surprised by what belongs on it!
My Favorite Things
Snoopy!
So many fun times with friends and family this year!
Beach time
Pumpkin spice latte season
Crisp fall air
Upcoming Events
What is Good Grief?
Tuesday, September 29 - 2 locations
1:00-2:30 - Cascade Senior Center - 1115 Darrington St, Darrington, WA
4:00-5:30 - Darrington Library – 1005 Cascade St., Darrington, WA
Whether you're grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a career, or navigating a life transition, this session offers valuable insights, compassionate support, and practical resources to help you move forward with strength and resilience.
The Grief of Estrangement: A Mother's Journey in Healing
Monday, October 26, 2026 6:00pm–7:00pm
Mill Creek Library - 15429 Bothell Everett Hwy, Mill Creek, WA 98012
My personal story of estrangement and what I have learned about grief, healing, and growing through heartbreak. There is healing, hope, and even purpose on the other side of the pain.
I facilitate a number of grief groups - in person and by Zoom.
The Grief Groups offer a supportive and compassionate space for sharing, healing, and navigating the journey of grief with others who understand.
You will have opportunities to share your story, if you choose to, learn strategies to help you cope with your loss, and connect with others who are grieving.
All are welcome, regardless of where you are in your journey or what loss you are grieving.
There are many losses. Conversations frequently include:
Sometimes there are tech issues. If you have any problems with registering or receiving a link, please contact melody@melodywestconsulting.com.
Stay Connected
Are you enjoying the newsletter? Is there something you’d like to see more of? Do you share it with others? I’d love to hear what resonates with you. These small connections are often where the spark starts.
A thought to carry with you
Resilience isn’t about creating a perfect life where nothing drains your well. It’s about tending the well you have.
Until next time, notice what’s filling your well, notice what’s draining it, and perhaps add one more thing to your bucket.
Warmly,
Melody
Melody West, LLC | Melody West Consulting | Bothell, WA 98012 US
