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Hi ,
A few days after the recent pilot of my new Conversation Workshop, one of the participants wrote to me:
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“I actually had a hard conversation yesterday with a family member about something I’ve been deferring. And the framework was helpful!”
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That framework is four questions, asked in order:
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What do you think? |
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What shaped your thinking on that? |
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How are you feeling about it? |
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What would make it better? |
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If you only remember one of the four, make it the second. When someone states an opinion we disagree with, our instinct is to answer it. “What shaped your thinking on that?” asks for the story behind the opinion instead. A position invites a defense. A story invites you to listen, and it usually tells you what actually matters to the other person.
Try it this week
The next time someone says something you disagree with, hold your case for a moment and ask: “What shaped your thinking on that?” Then let them finish.
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If you’d like this workshop for your team, just reply “interested.”
Best,
Marc
Marc Fest
EST
www.est.io
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