Wanda crossing a mountain creek on the way to Abrams Falls.

Yesterday, when I got directions from the two guys at the church retreat resort, they noticed that I had highlighted Cade’s Cove in my Tennessee Gazateer. They warned me that we will need to get there at first light in order to beat the crowd.

Cade’s Cove is an 11-mile auto tour that loops around a valley that once was a farm community in the 1800s and early 1900s. The guys claimed that by mid-morning the tour will be bumper-to-bumper.

Cade’s Cove is just 15 miles from our Elkmont Campground, but it took nearly an hour. The road’s speedlimit is between 25 and 35 mph. Even at that speed, I found that I had to brake as I went around the numerous tight curves. The extremely narrow road hugs a continuous rock wall on one side, and dives down into the most scrumptious boulder-strewn mountain stream on the other. The rock wall often overhangs quite low over the road giving me the heebee geebees, because with our kayaks on top of the van, we need 9 feet of clearance.

The drive around Cade’s Cove is amazing. Overnight, the ground frosted. The fields in Cade’s Cove were white with the delicate frost. This contrasted with the burnt oranges and golden yellows of the forest covering the mountains surrounding the valley.

There were several farm houses, outbuildings, churches, and a tiny community preserved from the original settlement scattered along the 11 miles that we could stop and tour. The narrow single-lane road was one-way, however, multiple parking spots were carved out to stop without holding up traffic.

Even at 7:30 am, when we arrived at the loop, traffic was surprisingly heavy, but moved in a steady manner.

The 11-mile one-lane road around the valley where the settlement of Cade’s Cove once thrived.

The morning temperature dipped down to 29º laying down a carpet of frost. The frost melted by 10 am. The rest of day was spectacular.

Cade’s Cove had many different church denominations.

Each church had its graveyard with interesting tombstones. This one caught my interest. Cade’s Cove had both Union and Confederate supporters. This guy was obviously a Union loyalist. I checked and Gregory’s Bald is a mountain top in the Smokies. There must have been a small settlement near the mountain that he founded. The mountain is apparently named after him.

A lot of the valley had been cleared for farming.

I believe this is a Methodist Church.

While I visited the church, these two ladies entered and spontaneously put on a revival show. The preacher lady, with her southern accent, put the fear of damnation in me. The lady on the piano was the real gem. The piano was tuned, or untuned, to sound like a honky-tonk piano. She played some spectacular spiritual tunes complete with 7ths, diminished, and bass runs. I left filled with “something” that I didn’t have when I entered.

This was one of the first frame-built homes in the valley.

Aunt Becky.

Aunt Becky’s story. Aunt Becky was a spinster.

The creek that powered the mill.

It is hard to tell from the outside, but this was a blacksmith shop.

For us, the centerpiece of the day was a moderately strenuous 5 1/2 mile hike to Abrams Falls and back. The trailhead is at the midpoint of the Cade’s Cove loop. The trail itself parallels a spectacular tumbling mountain brook following a heavily wooded hollow. The waterfalls was decent, but we’ve seen a lot of great waterfalls this summer, so that wasn’t the real highlight of the trail. The highlight was the trail itself. It was a beauty. The forest, the river, the crisp clean air, the perfect weather….. Wow! As Chevy Chase said in the movie, Vacation, “It’ll take plastic surgery to take the smile off my face.” Well, that may not be verbatim, and the context was very different, but you get the idea.

A lady along the trail told us that this is a Partridge Berry. I asked if it was edible. She said, “No, red means dead.” I told her about the red wintergreen berries back in Wisconsin being flavorful and edible. She dismissed my claim as impossible.

Abrams Falls.

The return hike.

Back on the one-lane road for more old farm houses.

The loop, the stops at the various buildings, and the hike ate up most of the day. We needed gas so off we went to search for a gas station. That meant driving into Gatlinburg. Within a mile or so from town, our phones picked up the 5G signal that we discovered yesterday. Google was then able to inform us that Gattlinburg only had one gas station and it sells regular unleaded for $3.60. No way was I going to let myself be subjected to such price gouging highway robbery. (One gas station doesn’t seem right, but that’s all google could dig up.)

Gas in nearby Pigeon Forge was $2.99. Off we went. It was another 10 miles, but we had our principles. Besides, we were going to save a fortune - about $7.00 I figured.

If we thought Gatlingburg was a tourist trap, Pigeon Forge made Gatlingburg seem like a quaint backwater country village. First off, it’s the home of Dollywood and all things Dolly Pardon wrapped up and commercialized to squeeze every cent you have.

Every kind of goofy glitzy outrageous attraction you can imagine, plus many you couldn’t possibly imagine, is right there for your choosing. Even though these attractions are lined up along the main road through town, it is difficult to reach them. The six lanes of traffic are so clogged with vehicles that it is impossible to switch lanes to make a turn off.

On the brighter side, Pigeon Forge had 5G. We found a spot to park and I got to send out one day of my travelogue, answer a couple of emails, and watch a video of my niece using her brand new Stihl 600 backpack leaf-blower, show the leaves in her yard whose boss.

It was dark when we returned to the camper.

Glossary of terms used for newcomers: 1) V-Jer. The name of our camper. 2) Saturn. The name of our Van. 3) Duende. Our mischievous gremlin that breaks things. 4) Tata. The good gremlin that helps us fix Duende’s dirty work. 5) The Black Hole. This is what we call Walmart because every time we go in for just a couple of items, we come out spending way more than we figured. 6) QT. Quaint Town. 7) Little Buddy. This is what we call our Dyson cordless stick vacuum.

Dave and Wanda

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