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One of the things I like best about hosting Career Sessions is that I get to learn from some really interesting people. I've now had more than 230 conversations about careers, leadership, and personal growth. And while I take something away from every discussion, occasionally a guest shares an idea that really sticks with me.
Three recent conversations have done just that. The ideas are simple, practical, and relevant well beyond the workplace:
Support the conversation, don't shift it.
Sales expert Andy Paul introduced me to the distinction between a "support response" and a "shift response." Imagine someone tells you about a terrible vacation experience. A shift response would be, "That happened to me once, too!" Suddenly, the conversation is about you.
A support response would be, "That's awful. What did you do, and were you able to salvage the vacation?" The focus stays on the other person.
Most of us shift conversations more often than we realize. We're trying to connect by sharing our own experiences, but we inadvertently make the conversation about ourselves. Andy's advice? Try asking three questions before saying anything about yourself. I've been practicing this, and it's a surprisingly effective way to become a better listener.
Follow the 24-hour rule.
Kristen Hadeed, author of the forthcoming book, Human Leadership, shared a practice she calls the 24-hour guideline.
When something bothers her or she observes behavior that needs addressing, she commits to having the conversation with the relevant person or group within 24 hours.
Her approach is about overcoming our natural tendency to avoid uncomfortable conversations – something Kristen acknowledges she struggled with for a long time. The problem is - the longer we wait, the more the issue festers, the harder the conversation becomes, and the bigger the issue seems (even if it really wasn’t a big deal).
In our discussion, Kristen acknowledged that she doesn’t always strictly meet her 24-hour target and that these conversations still make her nervous. The goal isn't to eliminate discomfort, and your expectation shouldn’t be to execute this perfectly. It's about having the courage to act despite it. I particularly like this idea because it can be applied equally to colleagues, friends, and family. Small conversations today prevent much bigger problems tomorrow.
Agreement first, enforcement second.
Matt Hunter shared an approach to accountability that also resonated: agreement first (he calls it consent), enforcement second. Too often, managers hold people accountable for expectations that were never clearly established, mutually understood, or agreed-upon.
Matt's argument is that accountability begins with an explicit agreement about what's expected. People need to understand the goals, accept them, and commit to delivering. Only then does holding them accountable become fair and constructive. It sounds obvious, but think about how often we get this backward, at work and elsewhere.
The common thread?
All three ideas come down to how we treat other people: listening with genuine curiosity, addressing issues with courage, and establishing expectations with clarity. None requires a fancy framework or extensive training, but rather just a little more intentionality in our everyday interactions.
And sometimes, those are the ideas that make the biggest difference.
JR and the PathWise team
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