Excerpts from words spoken at
The Tide Gauge House
Celebration,
7:30 pm, April 22, 2022
To all the architects and engineers,
to all the builders and welders,
to all the I beams and plate glass,
to the pneumatic nail guns and red hot rivets.
To the Eiffel Tower and the Pyramids,
the Taj and Angkor Watt.
To the bridges that span the bays
and the towers that scrape the skies
And to all of us who have used
the stairways, elevators, and on-ramps
to lift us off the gritty ground
and up into our Formica-clad castles.
To all of us that live in these highfalutin human habitats,
I invite you to descend from your lofty hill-top perches
and come down
to the edge of the sea.
And Why? You ask
And Why? You wonder
And Why? Because
( speaks thru megaphone). I wish to present to you the
Greatest Building in the World!
( worker shows small cardboard house)
–and how can this be?
Pretty small, not very impressive if you ask me. hmmmm.
While grandiose buildings purport
to house gods and goddesses,
and others house stocks and bonds,
still, others house laborers in apartments
or inmates in cells.
And yet whatever they are there for…
They are all servants of the human endeavor.
They are monumental edifices
meant to glorify our glorious selves.
(worker flexes biceps)
So how is this small, unassuming shed –
The Greatest Building in the WORLD?
One, It’s Grounded
Because unlike these other buildings,
it’s a building that is directly
CONNECTED to the EARTH
.
It doesn’t reach to the sky; instead,
it sets in the Bay.
Here at sea level is where below meets above,
where the sea meets the sky.
Where flying fish meet diving birds
The aquatic meets the avian. And The Tide House records.
Two: It Communicates.
Can buildings talk? The Tide House can!
Of all the buildings in the world advertising their flashy
façade, most are just flaunting their pretty little architectural follies.
Although not much to look at (form follows function), the Tide House does have a lot to say.
Three: A Warning
Loudly the bells in the old lighthouse ring
Hark to the warning. The warning it brings
(Asleep in the Deep,1897 )
Although its voice is faint compared to the big buildings and their bullish horns
– it has delivered a warning of grave storms ahead,
of hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, and rising tides.
The Tide House has been broadcasting this since 1854,
hoping that someday humans would hear
and act to mitigate the coming disaster.
Four; It Perseveres
“Yes, I can, Yes, I can.” Just like the Little Engine that Could, The Little Tide House started taking tide reading in 1854
and never stopped.
Yes, I can, Yes, I can said the little Tide House
as it preserved tidal data from mid-1800 until now.
Never stopping, never resting, and never missing a day. And so, because this record is unbroken, we have irrefutable evidence proving the Global Catastrophe is at our doorstep.
So what shall we do?
There is so much that needs to be done, but while we are here, we can take a moment to Praise The Tide Gauge House:
PRAISE FOR THE TIDE GAUGE HOUSE
Oh, precious Tide Gauge House, you have been calling to us from the very center of our City,
but your words have gone unheeded.
Oh, Tide Gauge House,
you are the Greatest Building in the World
because you contain and impart the most critical information
the world needs to know.
So here we stand before you,
with a small wreath of flowers in hand
and an overwhelming sense of gratitude in our hearts.
Thank you, Tide Gauge House, Located at Crissy Field, San Francisco Bay.
Thank you for being the Greatest Building in the World.
Thank you for telling us the truth we need to know.
Chris Hardman
