Dear Friends in Christ,
Frederick Buechner died on Monday, and Stephanie and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. That’s something of a non sequitur, I believe. At first glance — even at a second or third glance — our anniversary has no logical connection with the death of the novelist, memoirist, theologian and Presbyterian preacher.
Except this: I heard of Buechner’s death on our anniversary while I was reading his thoughts on marriage. While my life with Stephanie has taught me more about the meaning of love than I could have possibly imagined on August 16, 1986, it is Buechner who has given me the words to describe it.
Culturally, we think of love as an emotion, as something we feel, “love as a response of the heart to loveliness,” as Buechner describes it. But when we share life deeply with someone, we know this doesn’t begin to define the true depth of our experience. In The Hungering Dark, Buechner writes that love is much more than an emotion. It is an act of the will.
The promises that are given [in marriage] are not just promises to love the other when the other is lovely and lovable, but to love the other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and that means to love the other even at half-past three in the morning when the baby is crying and to love each other with a terrible cold in the head and when the bills have to be paid. The love that is affirmed at a wedding is not just a condition of the heart but an act of the will, and the promise that love makes is to will the other's good even at the expense sometimes of its own good — and that is quite a promise.
What does the couple get in return for this promise? Buechner answers this question in another book, Whistling in the Dark.
They get each other in return. Assuming they have any success at all in keeping their rash, quixotic promises, they never have to face the world quite alone again. There will always be the other to talk to, to listen to. If they're lucky, even after the first passion passes, they still have a kindness and a patience to depend on, a chance to be patient and kind. There is still someone to get through the night with, to wake into the new day beside.
This love is not restricted to married couples. Siblings, friends, neighbors, chosen family. If we have people who show up for us when life is hard and celebrate with us when life is good, we know what it is to receive this love. If we have people for whom we show up to console in tough times and to rejoice in good times, we know what it is to give this love. To have even one relationship like this is a blessing. To have two or three is an abundance.
Buechner’s thoughts on love echo the 13th chapter of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. While this may be an overused scripture passage at weddings, the message is worth remembering. Because it’s not marriage about which Paul is writing but all relationships. This is the love God gives us in Christ. It is the love we are called to share with others.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Cor 13:4-8a)
Your Friend in Christ,
Rector
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LGBTQ FAITH GATHERING
Thursday, August 25, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., Bower-Duncan Residence
All LGBTQ persons (18+) are invited to join in a summer celebration at the home of Jeff Bower and David Duncan. Food and drinks will be provided. Please RSVP below no later than Monday, August 22; the address will be provided.
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SEXUAL MISCONDUCT PREVENTION
Sunday, August 28, 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m., Parish Hall
Help to protect our children by attending “SafeGuarding God’s Children,” an in-person training led by Diocesan Transition Minister Jennifer Phelps. “About one in four girls and one in 13 boys in the United States have experienced childhood sexual abuse,” states the CDC. Lunch and childcare will be provided. Please RSVP below and direct questions to Laurie Pierce.
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CRAINE HOUSE - POLO AT SUNSET
Watch the horses play Polo while raising money for Craine House. Gate entry is $40 (first come, first serve parking) OR pay for a VIP sponsorship (three levels available) — includes guaranteed front row parking. There will be a silent auction (QR code provided on a handout the night of the event) and a 50/50 raffle ($10 for 1 ticket, $20 for 3 tickets) - gaming license 013753. Questions, contact Scott Redmon.
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CHAMBER MUSIC CONCERT ::
THE ABEL FAMILY QUARTET AND FRIENDS
Sunday, September 18, 4-5 p.m., Sanctuary
Alfred, Benjamin, and Colette Abel join with cellist Marty Meyer and pianist Yuantong Bai, featuring music of Sergei Prokofiev, Franz Schubert and Maurice Ravel for strings and piano. The Abel family are longtime friends of St. Paul’s and well-known to the Indianapolis community. All four family members are professional musicians from Indianapolis and also based in cities from Cincinnati to New York.
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EPISCOPAL WOMEN'S MINISTRIES FALL RETREAT
Friday, September 23 at 4 p.m. - Sunday, September 25 at noon
Join featured speaker and facilitator, the Right Rev. Catherine Waynick for a retreat focused on "Holy Listening." All who identify as women are invited and encouraged to attend. Those not able to attend in-person are invited to join online via Zoom (retreat sessions and worship included). The link below contains cost, details and registration. An early bird rate is available through August 26. No reservations will be accepted after September 9, 2022.
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TUESDAY MEN'S STUDY GROUP
The group is studying author Tom Harpur's book Water Into Wine. The Gospels convey a powerful message that emerges when they are read as intended for them to be. All are welcome to join for conversation, regardless of reading the book. Click below to purchase the book. Questions, contact Larry Johnson.
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WOMEN'S BIBLE STUDY - ALL AGES
Thursdays, 10-11:30 a.m. (starting 9/8), Rector's Conference Room (2nd floor, Parish Center building)
Often find yourself needing a midweek spiritual boost? The women of Thursday Morning Bible Study invite you to join as they begin their 43rd year! All lessons are self-contained, members may come and go and there is no homework. Studies are based on a practical concept: "what does the Bible say, what does it mean and how can I apply it to my daily living"? All generations of women are encouraged to learn, support and grow together. Questions, email Alice Roettger below or call her at 317.253.8840.
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HABITAT HELPERS NEEDED
Thursday, September 15 & Friday, September 23, 8:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.
St. Paul's supports Habitat for Humanity by lending a hand to first time homeowners and helping them realize their dream. Habitat homeowners pay for their own homes and work many hours to build them but cannot complete all of the construction alone. Our assistance is needed! If you could share your time, you'll spend a memorable day fulfilling hopes and prayers. You may even pick up a skill or idea that can be used in your own home. This project is located in the Riverside neighborhood, on the near west side of Indianapolis (exact address will be provided after sign-up). Many employers provide time off to assist community efforts such as this. Questions, please contact Bill Cummings. Sign up below to volunteer.
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SUNDAY SCHOOL MONTHLY HELPERS NEEDED
Sundays, 10:15-11 a.m., four adult volunteers are needed, once every four weeks
We're seeking just four more people willing to serve as the second adult in a Sunday School classroom (two adults required in each room). Pick a date that works for you and show up. If you have a conflict, you may switch with another volunteer. "SafeGuarding God's Children" training (Sexual Misconduct Prevention) is required and can be completed in-person on August 28 — details above — or completed online on your own time. Please consider joining this important group. You might even have some fun along the way! Email Laurie Pierce below with interest.
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SCHOOL #43 - 11 TUTORS NEEDED
Kindergarten tutoring begins in September, School #43
We could greatly use more volunteers to completely cover all kindergarten classrooms at School #43. Our tutors will work with kindergarten students in the areas of reading or math. If you have 30 minutes/week to donate to students at School #43, contact Janie Frazier below for details. See Outreach opportunities here.
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