As we move into a new year, many of us make resolutions to become "improved" versions of ourselves. While we'll always challenge you to believe that you are wonderful the way you are, it doesn't hurt to adopt what we in psychology refer to as a "growth mindset."

Individuals that adopt a "growth" mindset believe that their traits, talents, and weaknesses can be continuously improved upon, and that mostly anything can be accomplished through dedication and hard work. This view creates a personal love of learning, and fosters virtues of resilience and effort that are essential for accomplishment and active participation in life.

This is in direct opposition with a "fixed" mindset, meaning an individual believes that they are "stuck" in their current situation, or with what they have been given. In this mindset, there is no opportunity for growth or enhancement. Weaknesses stay weaknesses, frustrations become chronic, and people often adopt a sense of learned helplessness (e.g., giving up before even trying because they are convinced their efforts will be fruitless).

When we face a challenge or a setback, it is important to believe that we can develop the skills to over come it. Could you imagine what kind of predicament we would be in if our primitive ancestors would have just thrown up their hands and said, "Well, I guess we aren't good at using spears. Looks like we're going to starve." Struggle is normal and necessary. Through struggle, we develop confidence, emotional regulation skills, communication, persistence, problem-solving skills, and empathy.

First, you have to learn how to unlock your "fixed" mindset in order to shift into growth. It's no surprise that this has everything to do with our metacognitive skills (thinking about our thinking) and how we talk to ourselves inside our minds.

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I really dislike the phrase "new year, new me." Why? because it implies that something about you was inadequate the year prior, and that you aim to be someone different in the coming year. Hold on a second.. what's wrong with who you are and who you have been in the past? While for some this phrase may feel empowering and hopeful, my psychologist mind picks up on notes of self-criticism and societal pressures, reminding people that they still are not "good enough" and that they need to be constantly improving to be accepted.

Don't get me wrong, I am a big supporter of growing as a person, but in order to be able to do so you must practice self-acceptance, and this includes celebrating who you have become over time. It is only in reflection that we move towards growth. A positive, supportive reflection of who we once were versus a negative, judgmental reflection will help add more sunshine, allowing us to grow more quickly and more fully. Despite some common beliefs, humans do not respond well to criticism and harshness over time, instead, we flourish when we are provided with support, encouragement, and acceptance (e.g., being a supportive cheerleader versus a hard-hitting coach). Additionally, our past is ALWAYS a part of us, so why not incorporate into our present with as much positive regard as possible?

As you look back over the past year, re-live moments that made you smile, celebrate those goals that you crushed, be grateful for what you have learned, and admire your ability to navigate these past two (pandemic) years. Give yourself a hug. You are you, and you are wonderful just as you are.

Here's to Self-Love!. -Jaclyn