Greetings!
First things first. The Two Popes on Netflix and in some theaters is a must see. The acting is superb as is the dialogue. My favorite passage is near the end when Pope Francis says:
“We are seeing a globalization of indifference. There is a culture of conflict which makes us think only of ourselves… makes us live in soap bubbles which, however lovely, are also insubstantial. We’ve become used to the suffering of others. It doesn’t affect me. No one in our world feels responsible. Who is responsible for the blood of our brothers and sisters...the refugees washed up on the shores of the Mediterranean? I don’t have anything to do with it …Must be someone else, certainly not me. When no one is to blame… everyone is to blame.”
Almost two years ago a friend, George Pickett, asked me to prepare a course for teachers that would be offered online through Dominican college. When I asked, "on what", he said "on anything you want". There are now two; “Reversing the Trend from Narcissism to Compassion” and “Including the Excluded”. Every teacher who has taken one of the courses agrees that We "got trouble in River City”. (reference to Music Man for those too young to know and those too old to remember). River City encompasses the world.
Narcissism is on the rise and empathy is declining in the United States. A ten-year study conducted by the University of Michigan involving 14,000 students found that narcissism had increased by 100% and empathy had declined by 40%. Several schools have conducted kindness and anti-bullying campaigns in response to this trend. More will follow.
In 2003, when I first decided to raise money to build a school in Afghanistan, I began spending most of my time with volunteers (givers). It didn’t take long to realize that givers are happier and lead more fulfilling lives than those who aren’t. If we are in fact raising narcissists we are doing our children a great disservice.
Bruce Wodhams, principal of Springhill elementary school for 26 years, and I have spent well over a year meeting with teachers, principals, and the superintendents of Lafayette’s elementary and middle schools. The district is now engaged in a collaborative effort to address these issues. It will take time to determine and agree upon what can and should be done in the schools. Reasonable men and women will differ over solutions.
Some teachers and parents have voiced the view that teaching compassion and empathy is the responsibility of parents not teachers. Teachers teach subjects. Parents teach values. I disagree.Schools are “melting pots” or “salad bowls” where the diverse collide. Do we want teachers to ignore the conflicts that arise and the pain inflicted, particularly on children who find themselves excluded? I think not. I subscribe to the African proverb, “ it takes a village to raise a child”.
I have developed three lists over time. The first describes best practices that teachers and schools are currently employing. The second is a list of advice to parents from teachers who have taken my courses. The third provides forty-two ways to raise an empathetic child, and thirteen ways to raise a compassionate child. I wish I’d had this information when I was raising children. If you’d like the lists:
Grandparents -- forward to your children who don't want your advice on how to raise theirs. Blame the lists on me.
You may wonder how this newsletter has anything to do with Afghanistan. Trust in Education would have ended long ago were it not for people who care about the suffering of Afghan children and families they will never see or know. Thousands have benefitted from their compassion and empathy. The world needs more who care and the trend is in the opposite direction.
I was recently asked by a concerned friend, “What can we do”? There’s little we can do on a national or international level. Locally we can become engaged in a growing effort to reverse the trend toward narcissism and indifference. It will likely take a generation or more to become a caring, compassionate, and empathetic nation. In the interim, however, thousands of American children will learn that the greatest rewards in their life will come from the impact they have on the lives of others and they will be happier. This we can do.
Budd
Ps. Save the date April 8th. We’ll share and exchange views on this subject at the Lafayette library starting at 7:00pm.
