Logo.png

Tennessee, 10/25/21: Full of Bluster

Chess anyone? A chess board at Patti’s.

At 1 am on the dot, as promised by all of our weather apps, a bright flash followed by an instantaneous crack threw me out of bed. Well, maybe I am exaggerating about being thrown from bed, but the flash and thunder were real, and it heralded an all-night storm of epic power and fury. The rain pounded continuously, producing another flurry of weather app notifications - this time for flash floods.


We were snug and dry in our miniature home, but we didn’t get much sleep with all that flashing and banging. I was worried about the dry gulch just 25 feet away from us. What if it roars with floodwaters during such a storm?


At first light, the storm finally rumbled away. I checked the creek bed. It was dry. At least we weren’t swept down into the Tennesee River. The campground was pretty muddy, but the gravel site that we picked was in perfect shape.


The day, however, broke heavy with a thick dark overcast, 25º colder than yesterday, and a stiff biting wind. I guess the beach is out for today.


An intricate web of forest roads ties the LBL together. These roads emanate east and west from the main north-south highway, the Woodlands Trace National Scenic Byway, that bisects the long narrow forest. (I love those long descriptive names.)


We headed up the Byway to try out a whole bunch of the forest roads. A similar network of forest roads exist in the National Forests in Wisconsin, so I thought I knew what we are getting ourselves into. Not exactly. These roads are more primitive, some requiring ATVs. The roads seem to be ordered in a three-level hierarchy. The better ones, gravel but two-lane, intersect directly with the Byway. Very rough single-lane roads emanate from them. Badly rutted dirt paths are attached to the single-lane roads. All roads, no matter what their condition, are officially numbered.


We checked out all the campgrounds in this northwestern quadrant of the LBL. The Basic campsites were the most diverse and interesting. For $50 per year, you can camp just about anywhere you want as long as you’re not blocking a forest road. In practice, there weren’t too many places available. The topography is primarily steep hollows. You wouldn’t want to take a trailer down many of the rougher roads. And the forest is thick, offering precious few clearings to set up. There are some open areas down by boat landings that offer Basic camping. We found one. A large open area with a vault toilet gave campers the ability to plop down anywhere. The trouble was, it was hard to find level ground. Still, we saw two RVs that had successfully set up shop.


The Self-service campgrounds, at $10 per night, were also intriguing. We visited three of them. They were laid out in an odd fashion, similar to our Fenton Campground. Some sites were roomy and level. Some were ridiculously tiny and practically hanging off cliffs. The roads in the campgrounds were also iffy. Some loops were approachable. Others were so rutted from runoff rainwater that you’d have to build a bridge to get over the ruts. There were no campers in any of these campgrounds.


Lastly, we toured Hillman Campground, a Developed campground. It is a vast gated community. We had to get a 30-minute pass to enter. The three loops each had 100s and 100s of sites. Some sites had water, electric, and sewer hookups. Others were water and electric, and some were solely electric. There were also some boondocking sites. The sites with amenities were nicely set up but a bit too close together for my taste. The boondocking sites were usually more spread out but not very level.


As I speculated, all the big boys were here. About 75% of the sites with amenities were filled. The gatekeeper assured me that, come the weekend, it will be packed.


The gated thing is fine, but there was one aspect of it that irked me. Hillman has a vast network of trail loops. Each loop is about 2 or 3 miles long. Each have their own trailheads that you can drive to. Theoretically, you can pick and choose which loops to walk.


The problem is, to get to the trailheads, you have to get past the gate, which they won’t let you do unless you are camping there. The gatekeeper told me that we could park outside the gate and walk in. Great, but that only gets us to the one trailhead close to the gate. Unless we were inclined to hike about 20 miles, we could only access the one closest loop. That didn’t seem right.


Despite all my quibbles, the forest is the real star here. The entire LBL is a grand mixed woodland that oozes solitude, calm, tranquility...... Whether driving, hiking, or biking, the LBL slows the world down to a manageable pace. You can’t beat that.

Wandering the back roads of the LBL.

These forest roads can get rugged.

Even the more obscure and rough roads are assigned official numbers. On maps, they look like navigable roads.

An example of a Basic campground. Find a spot and plop down.

Kayakers and canoeists can travel up and down the two rivers, going from bay to bay. They are allowed to stop and camp in these bays at night. Each approved stopping-off spot is tagged with one of these “Water Trail” signs.

The water level is very low in the two reservoirs.

The forest is just plain wonderful.

Grand Rivers, a quaint little town on the northern border of the LBL, featured Patti’s 1880 Settlement. This was a recreated old-tyme shopping area complete with log buildings. The walkways weaved and circled around a myriad of gift shops. An army of workers were setting up Christmas decorations, which seemed a bit early to me. If they had any Halloween decorations they were gone. All the trees, bushes, fences, and posts were strung with lights. I read that the night lighting is quite a show.

Grand Rivers, located where Tennessee River and Cumberland River artificially meet, is a tourist town. I say artificially meet, because technically they don’t. They actually reach the Ohio River a few miles from each other. However, at Grand Rivers, a connecting channel was dug. Anyway, these photos confirm Grand Rivers status as a tourist town.

Patti’s Restaurant and Hotel. Behind this building is the log cabin shopping mall called Patti’s 1880 Settlement.

Notice the strings of lights. They are everywhere.

Patti’s Settlement was getting ready for Christmas.

So, who exactly is Patti? Bill and Patti Tullar blew into town in 1975. They bought the hotel and opened up the, wait for it, Hamburger Patti’s Ice Cream Parlor. That seems like an odd name. None-the-less, they kept adding on log cabin shops behind the hotel and the new hamburger and ice cream shop.

As the day slipped away, we found a $2.99 a gallon gas station and filled up. The gas in Illinois was very expensive, from $3.39 to $3.55 a gallon. Kentucky has been mostly $3.09.


When we returned to our camp, three more campers had set up. Hmmm, maybe my strategy worked after all. It allowed us to get the only decent site.


Not a very exciting day. It was too raw to do much hiking. Tomorrow promises to be friendlier. I think we will explore the southern part of the LBL. There is hiking at Fort Henry and maybe we’ll get to Fort Donelson.

Glossary of terms used for newcomers: 1) V-Jer. The name of our camper. 2) Saturn. The name of our Van. 3) Duende. Our mischievous gremlin that breaks things. 4) Tata. The good gremlin that helps us fix Duende’s dirty work. 5) The Black Hole. This is what we call Walmart because every time we go in for just a couple of items, we come out spending way more than we figured. 6) QT. Quaint Town. 7) Little Buddy. This is what we call our Dyson cordless stick vacuum.

Dave and Wanda

Get Vaccinated To Save Lives.

Virtual Business Card

North America . Europe . Mexico . Asia . Product Reviews . Books & Maps


Please send us your thoughts and any errors we may have missed. We're on the road and cellular service is intermittent in the remote areas. As soon as we get online, we are eager to read all of your messages.


Text: 715-252-6664 | 715-252-3326

Email: alloverthemaptravelventures@gmail.com

Visit our Website
Pinterest Share This Email