Caregiving Is a Lot Like...
Doing The Hustle
by: Jessica Evans, BCSSI Director of Outreach/Caregiver Support
I love disco music. I mean, I LOVE disco! I own more than one disco ball...that should tell you something.
Give me the Bee Gees and the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack...with the volume turned up!
There's just something about that music that makes me happy. It's fun. It's a little over the top. And for me, it's impossible to listen to without breaking out my best John Travolta moves.
Recently, that's exactly what I needed.
I was having one of those caregiving days with my mom. You know the kind...nothing catastrophic. Just the questions...the worries...the responsibilities and all the little things that can pile up until suddenly they don't feel so little anymore. And suddenly there's panic at the disco.
I couldn't change what was happening.
So I changed the soundtrack.
On went Saturday Night Fever.
Nothing on my caregiving to-do list magically disappeared. The situation was still the situation. The Disco Inferno was still burning.
But I felt better.
And somewhere between Stayin' Alive and Night Fever, it hit me...Caregiving is a lot like doing The Hustle.
You finally get into a groove. The appointments are on the calendar. The pillbox is filled. You've made the phone calls. Maybe...just maybe...you've got things under control.
And then something changes.
There's a new medication to figure out. Mom calls with something unexpected like her dyer is filling up with water...huh? The doctor's office needs something. An appointment gets moved. You discover one more thing you never knew would become your responsibility.
And just like that, you're doing The Hustle again.
Then there's the caregiving soundtrack.
Welcome to Studio 85 (otherwise known as Mom's house) where the DJ only brought three records:
🎵 “What are we doing today?”
🎵 “I don't want to spend time with you today.”
🎵 “Where did I put my remote?”
And apparently, they're all extended dance mixes.
You answer...They ask again...You answer again...They ask again.
And somewhere around the fifth replay, you start wondering if perhaps you're the one with the memory issues.
Do the Hustle...and just like the song, we do it over and over again.
That's caregiving. Some days we handle it better than others. And sometimes we just need a dance break.
Funny how turning the music up can turn all the other noise down.
Sometimes you need to let something else take up that space for a while.
Maybe for you it isn't disco. Maybe it's gardening, reading, walking, baking, anything to do with old trains, fishing or watching a favorite television show. Whatever it is, you're allowed to enjoy it. You're allowed to laugh, be silly and have fun...even when life is difficult.
Having a good moment doesn't mean the hard stuff isn't still there.
It just means the hard stuff doesn't get every moment.
For me, sometimes all it takes is the opening beat of Stayin Alive.
The worries are still there. The to-do list is still there. Mom may still call.
But for a little while, I've got my Boogie Shoes on, and caregiving can wait until the song is over.
And if caregiving insists on making me do The Hustle...I might as well pick the music.
Jessica
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