Focused2X2: The Power of Two
April 23, 2019
Insights from Lisa Mitzel

Parent and athlete: I’ve been coaching them together . Pairs. Moms and daughters wondering how to create confidence, overcome nervousness, distraction, even fears. How the mom can be supportive and helpful without talking too little, too much, or applying pressure. They live in Texas, Florida, Michigan, Utah, California — all over! The athletes range from 7 to 16 yrs old. The athlete primarily focuses on mental strategies for sport specific skills. Then, she is very pleased when I give her mom a mental exercise to do! Mom learns to be calm and say kind, important words that her daughter likes to hear. It’s awesome. The magic happens when they do an exercise together. In every scenario, the athlete ends up improving in practice and competition. In a recent session, a mom and daughter sat facing each other, held hands, breathed together slowly and repeated positive statements to each other. They smiled and giggled…and joy filled the room. Because in sports, for an athlete to push their mind and body and reach goals, it’s vital to open up communication with their parent, find true desires and a deeper connection. This process is enlightening and the results are incredible.
Focused2X2 - Exclusive Parent-Athlete
Clinics in Long Beach, CA.
Starting May 17 and weekends through the summer, for two half days, small groups of parent-athlete pairs join me in learning self-awareness, calming techniques, and how to build confidence to perform great. The experience is amazing and will alter both parent and athlete’s negative habits. Both learn to notice and manage stress, and develop new positive strategies to achieve what they want, individually and together.

Accepting sign-ups now. For dates and more about Focused2X2 Clinics , go to Lisa’s website (Clinics & Speaking page) for info: www.LisaMitzel.com/speaking/ OR email HeyMitz@gmail.com . Put Focused2X2 in the subject line and ask for details.

Confused Parents: How Do I Help my Athlete?
As our athletes train and especially face challenges, we all ask ourselves, “What should I do for my athlete?” or “How can I help my child?” because they work and stress, daily. Sometimes for us, it’s overwhelming. We get attached to their sadness, loneliness, and pain. We feel it. We don’t realize—in a moment of great concern—that our thoughts and emotions also affect our kids, and that creates more tension. Worrying is not helpful.

Understand : Worry is mental tension, which creates physical tension. Even unspoken, your worry affects your athlete’s ability to think, feel at ease, and perform . What they need are tools to manage their challenges. In the meantime, a big problem is that we forget to trust. The sports journey is a process of challenges and triumphs. But when our child is in emotional pain, we get worried and don’t trust the process. The fact is, these moments are great opportunities!

I work with a talented seven-year-old gymnast and her mom. This gymnast had a difficult moment in practice and cried. I learned that she did not perform a skill well enough to earn a prize. She got very emotional, too much to focus and perform. She was told by her coach to sit down for the rest of practice. That made it worse; she was embarrassed, angry, and could not try again to reach her goal.

Integrate the Lesson: Use desire and emotional awareness as positive strategies. This gymnast is highly driven, and yet very self-critical. She desires to keep practicing to improve. In order to do that, she must learn to manage her emotions. With me (and her mom, nearby), she learned to pause and focus on the beginning of feeling sad and frustrated—to notice it at practice and choose to slow down. She wrote in her notebook: “When I feel sad, I notice it and I will take a break.”   I asked her, “Would you rather have the coach give you a break, or would you like to decide to take a break? You can get a drink, go to the bathroom, take deep breaths and get calm.” She replied: I want to decide . And that was that. Next, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and calmly said to herself: “When I feel sad, I notice it, and I will take a break.” Again, “When I feel sad, I notice it, and I will take a break.” And again…

Message: Parents, let your kids see you model this. Allow them to see you in a common tense moment (maybe rushing and worried), then pause, notice your stress…and choose to slow down and get calm. Say it out loud: “I can slow down. I choose to feel calm,” and take a breath… This is emotional intelligence and it’s important to teach it to athletes.
Spotlight: Help Athletes Through Emotions

In my new book, Focused and Inspired , I teach adults how to slow down and help an athlete in an emotional moment. Have you practiced mindfulness or created your own “zen moments”? In Focused and Inspired , in Chapter 6, “I Will Teach You,” learn the simple steps to focus on your breath, your body’s tension, look at the small hurting person inside the athlete, and think about what you want to say to diffuse their worry and stress. Slow down…and model patience and calm for the athlete. Then they will be influenced by your calm example. Buy Focused and Inspired so you can learn and practice! Also consider other resources. Check out The 7 Habits of Calmness here: https://zenhabits.net/calm/ .

Inspiring Gifts

Focused and On Fire and Focused and Inspired make thoughtful and purposeful gifts for Athletes, Coaches and Parents. We have a Special Offer for the "Lisa Mitzel Pack" of BOTH books for only $35! No promo code needed when ordering online (publisher's website) at: tinyurl.com/LisaMitzelPack
 
Lisa’s Videos: Take-a-Breath Tuesdays.  
My short videos spotlight parts of my books, share news, and support YOU in developing self-awareness and being an effective coach or support in guiding athletes. Follow me on: FB, IG @mitzel_coach, and Twitter.
Focused and Inspired is dedicated to every athlete who has ever been hurt by the misuse of power in sports, and especially dedicated to the athlete-survivors of sexual abuse, who are still healing, and who spoke up and shared their stories. You are so brave! Thank you for helping others to speak up and begin to heal.
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