September 2026 Newsletter | | | |
On September 3, 2000, my son Ryan and I opened a Yahoo Message Group and posted this first message: I am the mother of an awesome 10-year-old donor child. I know that he has at least 3 donor siblings and would love to contact them. We are looking for Donor #1058 from the California Cryobank. I hope that this board will serve others looking for their children's (or their own) siblings.
We had no idea whether other parents, donors, or donor-conceived people were out there wanting to know about biological relatives, or whether anyone would ever join the group. In 2003, after an appearance on Oprah and a huge influx of members, we realized that manually matching people in a Yahoo chat group was no longer possible, so we built a website (and incorporated as a 501c3 charity organization). The rest is history!
| | We should never be afraid to shine a light on unethical practices. Ignoring problems won't ensure responsible practice by the reproductive medicine industry or protect donor-conceived children. If we truly care about the future of donor family building, we must demand honest gamete-seller practices, meaningful accountability, and a strong push for ethical standards. | |
European Sperm Bank: 75-Family Limit not adhered to…
I’ve just been told by my sperm bank that the sperm donor I used in 2017 has exceeded their now-new family cap of 75 that they introduced in 2022. I waited months for them to give me an idea of the family numbers; this is what they advised. I was led to believe the family cap was 25, as (25) is after the donor ID on his 2017 profile. The website also still states that 25 is the average number of families a donor helps.
From another family:
Yes, same story. When I ordered in 2021 and spoke with them, they told me they wanted to keep it to 25 families, as indicated on the donor profile. One year ago, they changed it to 75 families on the profile (without even informing us). They blocked this donor for medical issues.
The ESB website states a 75-family limit (‽), but even that "limit" is not adhered to.
Read more about “limits” here.
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New Success Stories
When I met Dylan
When I was 11 I became interested towards the idea of having siblings that I wasn’t even aware of. After a stroke of luck, we got in contact with my half brother Dylan’s mum who put me into contact with Dylan. Ever since we have met up frequently and I have had the chance to really bond with him, his family, and his friends.
Connected with my daughter Abby!!
I have a wonderful connection with my daughter Abby. We just met April of 2026 and have been building a relationship since then. I have met her family and she has met mine. It's been a beautiful experience. I am so excited to be a part of Abby's life and can't wait to build upon this relationship further. I love my daughter! Abby and I would absolutely love to meet additional family members so please contact us and let's meet!
Met my donor this weekend! Thanked him for helping me be born.
| | Siblings and moms get-together | | |
I was contacted by the mother of a half-sister to my daughter.
They are only 5 months apart in age. We had the opportunity for our families to meet for 2 days in March 2026 and it was great. The girls hit it off and it was so nice to talk to parents whose journey is connected to ours.
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Mega Super Prolific Mass Serial Donors
Some headlines from around the world:
The nightmare of unregulated sperm donation using a sperm ‘super donor’
Dutch mass sperm donor Simon says he has 199 children
Jewish serial sperm donor Ari Nagel nears 100 children
Serial sperm donor who fathered 180 children loses High Court paternity bid
Belgium investigates sperm donor who helped father 121 babies
'Medical calamity': dozens of Dutch sperm donors fathered at least 25 children
Meet 'the Sperminator': The prolific donor who has nearly 100 biological children
The serial sperm donor: One man, hundreds of children and a burning question: why?
‘Sperminator’ who’s fathered 52 kids gets own web series
World’s ‘most prolific sperm donor’ has fathered 138 children — from the back of his van
Baby boom! Sperm donor reveals he’s fathered 129 children
Why is it that media stories are only written, and these types of sensational headlines only used when the donors are operating outside of the sperm banking industry?
Sperm banks have created many more half-sibling groups of 100-250 than the stories we read about private donors. The private donors are often referred to as the "unregulated donors", implying that sperm banks operate under some sort of regulation that would prohibit the very large half-sibling groups. The industry continues to advertise and promise false "limits" and still operates under a system with no oversight or accountability.
Prospective parents should understand why the very large groups can be challenging, and even harmful, both medically and psychologically, including the fear of dating a half-sibling. Donors (and their families) are often shocked and panicked when finding out they have created dozens or hundreds of children. Many who would have connected with children are deterred by the sheer number, so all suffer.
Here's the 2011 article that we did with the NY Times: One Sperm Donor, 150 Offspring. That particular sperm bank (Fairfax) continued selling that donor's sperm, and now there are ~250 children born from that donor.
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DSR Voices
Common sentiments
I am looking to find my donor father. I feel like I don’t know who I am, and would love to figure out more about myself.
We have met some of the half-siblings. And I value those exchanges far more than I would have thought. They are now part of our life. And it's a beautiful extension.
We would like to have an image of our biological father to see where we got half of our faces from. We would be even happy more if they would like to connect with us.
I'm 19 and just curious about where I come from.
I’m looking forward to the possibility of connecting with biological relatives!
Curiosity generations down the line
Was recently surprised to find my grandfather is not biologically my grandfather. We have yet to get in contact with my biological grandfather but we think he may have been a sperm donor and we’re wondering if my father has any additional half siblings.
Curiosity takes many shapes
I’m not interested in building a relationship with my biological parents, but I am curious about the history of my genetics. (Medical and whatnot)
Pregnancy connections
I have a donor conceived child due in January and am looking to connect to other siblings.
Children raised by egg and sperm donors
I value family, honesty, faith, and a life with purpose, stability, and real connection. My mother donated her eggs more than twenty years ago, and I have wondered for years whether I have half-siblings somewhere in the world. I want to know who they are, what their lives have been like, and whether we share any of the same traits, expressions, or ways of seeing things. I am not searching to interfere with anyone’s family. I simply want the chance to understand this missing part of my own story and to leave the door open for a relationship, should they want one too.
My father was a physician, and to earn some extra money while he was in med school in the 1940s and fifties, he told us, his four children, that he was a sperm donor. I am wondering if any of my half siblings are out there in the world.
And a common sentiment from a DCP who has not yet connected
I'm 30 years old and have not known my biological father my whole life. I have always felt incomplete. At least partially empty. Truth is, I don't expect to be accepted or taken under anyone's wing. I just want to know who my father is. I want to know about him. I want to connect with a culture and heritage that I'd been held back from. I want to feel a little more whole inside.
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In The News
Apparently, Newsweek doesn't fact-check anymore.
"More than 1 million donor-conceived people are thought to be living in the U.S. today, according to estimates cited by bioethicists and donor-conception researchers." That number was made up in 2003 and has been falsely cited since then.
There is no known statistic. Sperm banks do not keep records of DCP-born children; no one does, so it is impossible to estimate a number. When the media uses this 23-year-old made-up number, it leads the public to believe some entity/agency is actually keeping track.
Sperm banks have no idea how many children are born to any one donor, because reporting is voluntary, and many reported births still aren't included in a sperm bank's numbers. Their "limits" are all deceptive. It's a mess; that's why we have so many half-sibling groups over 100 and 200.
Podcast: Mission Motherhood Media
| Two new stories about doctors who used their own sperm | | Oldies But Goodies: ER & CSI TV Shows | | |
We were also featured on a CSI episode: The CSI: Crime Scene Investigation titled "Terminal Velocity" (Season 14, Episode 6). In this episode, the investigation leads the team to look into a sperm donor who fathered over a hundred children, making any one of his donor-conceived offspring a potential suspect in their case.
In the episode, the team turns to the Donor Sibling Registry website to track down leads. By discovering the massive web of half-siblings connected to a single donor, the CSIs narrow the suspect pool and unravel the mystery.
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Consult/Advice/Support Video Chat |
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2026 Research Studies
We've partnered with McGill University on new research on egg and sperm donors. This study examines donors who have connected with their donor children (now 18+). A paper, “Uncharted Territory”: Exploring the psychosocial experience of sperm donors contacted by their donor offspring, was submitted for publication to PLOS ONE in July of 2026.
Summary: The results indicate that sperm donors who connect with their biological children find the experience beneficial to their mental health, bringing a sense of meaning and purpose, rewarding new relationships, and fostering social connection. That said, some sperm donors with spouses and children that they're raising reported that the new relationship caused familial challenges.
New Paper: Gay Fathers Contacting Their Egg Donors
This was a study we completed over a year ago. Our research partner has been MIA, so we're sharing the rough draft paper.
Volitional Attachment Change in DC Adults: Moving Towards Implementation Science, a collaboration with Elizabeth B. Lozano, PhD, California Northstate University
The research employs an implementation science approach to improve attachment style among donor-conceived people (DCP). Specifically, the objectives are two-fold: (1) To conceptually replicate previous research by Hudson and colleagues (2020), which showed that people can willingly change their attachment style with the implementation of “change goals”; (2) To examine whether volitional change in attachment can be extended to DCP.
Preliminary results: Over the course of the study, participants' feelings and patterns in close relationships were generally quite stable. While there was a slight increase in tendencies to keep emotional distance from others (i.e., attachment avoidance) over time, the change was very small. Overall, we found little evidence that attachment patterns changed substantially during the study period. Because many participants did not complete all four surveys, interpret these findings cautiously, as the limited data may have made it harder to detect small changes over time.
Donor-Conceived Adults Study: Relationships, Origins, Outcomes, and Self-Identity among Donor-Conceived People. This study, conducted in collaboration with Dr. Shelby Scott, Assistant Professor at the University of Texas at San Antonio, and the Donor Sibling Registry, aims to understand the experiences of donor-conceived people and identify unique factors related to their relationships, origins, outcomes, and self-identity. Researchers have collected data from over 750 people, and papers are currently being written.
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Upcoming Speaking Engagements
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October 2026: Boulder, Colorado Atheists
November 2026: The 34th World Congress on Controversies in Obstetrics, Gynecology and Infertility (COGI). NORMALIZING DONOR FAMILY KINSHIP DURING FORMATIVE YEARS: AN ANALYSIS OF EARLY CONTACT IN SPERM AND EGG DONOR FAMILIES (oral presentation), Athens, Greece
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BOOK: Counseling Donor Family Members
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Published by Ethics Press, this guide will be of interest to therapists, counselors, psychologists, sociologists, physicians, and other mental health professionals who may encounter this topic in their specific settings with patients who have a variety of presenting problems, as well as professionals in the reproductive medicine industry.
And yes, this guide is also helpful for donors, parents, and donor-conceived people. Understanding the layers of emotional depth and the specific challenges that all stakeholders might face is very helpful when maneuvering through your own personal journey.
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Psychology Today 2022-2025 Articles
2025 Published Articles
1/28/25
Donor Conception Disclosure: Telling Others
Making the decision to disclose donor conception to family, friends, and others.
2/18/25
The Hidden Ties That Bind
Donor sibling meetups sometimes mask a deeper truth.
3/24/25
From Fate to Destiny: Finding Donor Relatives
Donor-conceived people can be empowered to search for and find answers.
4/9/25
Breaking the Zero-Sum Myth: Expanding Donor Families
Love often grows when families do—as many donor families find out.
5/19/25
A Paradox in Donor Conception
The desire for genetic connection in donor families is bilateral.
2024 Published Articles
1/4/24
DNA Matters: Psychological Differences in Donor Families
Accurate and updated mental health information is vital for families and donors
1/25/24
The Ethical Sperm Bank: An All-Open Sperm Bank
An idea whose time has come.
2/26/24
The Problems With Donor-Sibling Groups of 50, 250, or More
Important medical, psychological, and social implications for donor offspring.
3/29/24
What Rights Are Important to Donor-Conceived People? Personal Perspective: A bill of rights for the infertility field.
4/30/24
Accurate Terminology in Egg Donation Families: T The person who contributes the egg is the biological or genetic mother.
5/30/24
Gamete Donors Connecting With Offspring and Their Families
Barriers: the perception of rejection, worry, fear, and other concerns.
6/19/24
Donor Families: Mutual Consent Contact
Personal Perspective: Mutually agreed-upon contact can be quite different.
8/5/24
Enhancing Family Connections in Donor Conception
A call for simplicity and transparency in donor-family relations.
8/19/24
Donor-Conceived People: The Search for Ancestry and Identity
Discovering family history enhances self-understanding and connection.
9/18/24
Bypassing Trauma in Donor-Conceived People
The power of early disclosure and donor family connections to reduce trauma.
10/15/24
Widening the Family Circle: Sperm and Egg Donors' Families
A donor's partner, parents, and children can support broadening the family.
11/5/24
Parents of Young Donor Children: Modeling Conversations Empowering donor-conceived children to be confident and proud of their origin story.
12/11/24
Donor Families: Navigating Disenfranchised Grief
When donor family members have feelings of unacknowledged loss and or rejection.
2023 Published Articles
1/6/23
Why are Sperm and Eggs Still Sold Anonymously?
Personal Perspective: The consequences of donor anonymity.
1/27/23
Cornerstones of the Donor Family: Kindness and Empathy:
From choosing a donor to expanding one's family to include donor relatives.
3/2/23
Tips for Donor-Conceived Adults Who Just Found Out the Truth:
The road might be bumpy for a while, with a multitude of difficult emotions.
4/3/23
Donor-Conceived People Who Have Always Known the Truth:
Being donor-conceived can have inherent challenges, even if told early on.
4/24/23
Egg and Sperm Donors: It's Complicated:
Some common thoughts and feelings surrounding selling one's gametes.
5/8/23
Donor-Conceived People: Curiously not Curious:
Some insist that they are not at all curious about their donor origins.
6/12/23
Parents of Donor-Conceived People: Researching the thoughts and feelings of biological and non-biological parents.
7/10/23
Reaching Out to Sperm and Egg Donors: Weighing the risks and rewards when deciding whether to attempt contact.
7/27/2023
Why Is There a Shortage of Black Egg and Sperm Donors?
Creating a more diverse donor landscape.
8/7/23
Donor-Conceived Children Meeting Their Half-Siblings
Widening one's family circle with enriching, lifelong relationships.
9/5/23
Gamete Sellers: It's More Than Just a Financial Transaction
Common themes, topics, and issues that arise with former egg and sperm donors.
10/2/23
Sperm Banks, Egg Facilities, and the Backfire Effect
Why have gamete sellers been resistant to evolving ideas about donor families?
11/1/23
Contacting a Gamete Donor for the First Time: The Letter.
You might not get a second chance to make a first impression.
12/4/23
Donor Offspring: Curiosity, Connecting, & Attachment Theory
Securely attached individuals are more likely to have a positive experience.
2022 Published Articles
3/6/22
Supporting Donor Family Members:
Adequate counseling and education are vital.
3/25/22
A Brief History of Donor Conception:
Looking at eight centuries of manipulating sperm.
4/19/22
Words Have Power in Sperm and Egg Donor Families:
The language of reproductive medicine can be tricky.
5/5/22
Happy Mother's Day to Solo Moms (of Donor Kids):
Personal Perspective: A special shout-out to single mother (only) parents.
5/27/22
Donor Conception: Questions for Prospective Parents:
Issues and themes to ponder when considering using donor gametes.
6/23/22
Truth and Honesty in Families of Donor-Conceived Children:
Early disclosure is crucial for building a happy and healthy family.
7/21/22
A Dearth of Adequate Gamete Donor and Recipient Counseling:
Education and counseling before selling or buying sperm and eggs is crucial.
8/25/22
Are You Thinking About Donating Your Sperm or Eggs?
A few practical, ethical, emotional, and medical issues to consider.
9/26/22
Nature and Nurture in Donor Families:
Biological and non-biological parents matter.
10/26/22
Tips for Parents of Adult Donor-Conceived People:
Are you about to disclose, or do you have a child who just found out the truth?
11/28/22
DNA: Donors Not Anonymous:
Sperm and egg donor anonymity has not been possible since 2005.
12/13/22
Secrecy v. Privacy in Donor Families: Walking the fine line between privacy and secrecy is inherent in donor families.
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Your Family: A Donor Kid’s Story is a sweet and light-hearted picture book that answers the question "Where did I come from?” and then gently introduces the concepts of half-siblings and donors openly and honestly. The book starts with the parents’ desire to have a baby and the use of a donor, and then broaches the topic of half-siblings and biological parents/donors. A perfect book for donor-conceived children and their parents in all family types to learn about how they were conceived and to understand that being curious about their unknown genetic origins and relatives is natural.
Just as there are many family types, there are also many ways to define a child’s family and their donor relatives. Reading this book with your young donor-conceived child can initiate or supplement important and ongoing dialogue about these genetic connections. These early conversations are integral for creating a happy and healthy donor child and family.
"A lovely book for children who were conceived with donor sperm or egg. Parents in all kinds of families will find it very helpful in explaining their child’s conception story in a gentle, simple, and positive way."
—Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., psychotherapist and Founder/Director of Single Mothers by Choice
"Having worked with Wendy Kramer for many years, I know her organization, the Donor Sibling Registry, is valuable to the LGBTQ parenting community. We’ve published family stories that talk about how DSR has brought joy to not just the half-siblings discovering each other but to their gay parents as well. Kramer’s children’s book, Your Family: A Donor Kid’s Story, is an important contribution to the LGBTQ community and a great addition to the homes of all parents with donor-conceived children." —Angeline Acain, publisher and editor, Gay Parent Magazine
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Finding Our Families: A First-of-Its-Kind Book for Donor-Conceived People and their Families
Millions of people have been born with the help of donor sperm or eggs, including Wendy Kramer’s son. Realizing the unique concerns of being or parenting a donor-conceived child, Kramer launched what would become the world’s largest database for connecting donor-conceived people, the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR).
Finding Our Families provides additional support for this growing community. With compassion and insight, the authors draw on extensive research to address situations families face throughout a donor-conceived child’s development, including the search for a biological parent or half-sibling and how to forge a healthy self-image.
"The book successfully honors its promise to deliver the tools necessary to help donor-conceived children discover and explore their genetic legacies.” —Publishers Weekly
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Donor Family Matters
The story of Wendy Kramer and her donor-conceived child, Ryan, who eventually found his biological father and [now 30] half-siblings. Wendy and Ryan created the Donor Sibling Registry, the world’s largest platform for mutual-consent contact of sperm, egg, and embryo donors, donor-conceived children and adults, and their parents.
Educate the child. Raise him or her without biases of any kind. Teach him or her to trust in others but to rely on self. Instill in him or her a sense of humor and the ability to enjoy life.”
Penned on a sperm bank intake form, these words of advice from Donor 1058 to the future recipients of his donations became a parental motto for one particular recipient, Wendy Kramer, who would go on to found the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). With more than [104,000] members in 100+ countries, the DSR is the world’s largest platform for sperm, egg, and embryo donors, donor-conceived children and adults, and their parents to connect and share information through mutual consent contact. In her role with the DSR, Wendy has become a leading advocate for donor families and for reformation of the modern profit-driven donor conception industry.
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