Square One Speaker Presentation: Secret Lives of Teens and Tweens
Resources & Follow-up
January 2020
Jon Mattleman kept an audience of over 150 parents and caring adults glued to their seats, as he shared his professional expertise and personal experiences as a father. Through his fast-paced, high energy presentation and humor-filled style, Jon shared useful insights, techniques and skills for adults to better understand the teens and tweens in their lives.

We are grateful to all of the volunteers who helped with pre-event planning, promotion and on-site needs on the night of the program. Thank you, Steve Masciarelli, for your technical and A/V support at all of our programs - we would be lost without you. A special thank you to WHS student volunteers who helped with childcare, as well.

While we were not permitted to record the presentation, we do have several follow-up resources and recommended articles from Jon to share (see below). Please feel free to share these, far and wide, with other people you feel would like to see them.

Thank you to all of you who attended the presentation. As children grow, there are so many adults in their lives who care about, interact with and support them on a daily basis. When we, as adults, can understand a little about their worlds (which are so different from the ones we grew up in), we are better prepared to care about, interact with and support them!

Next Steps
We received great feedback from attendees, with suggestions for topics and issues that support substance use prevention/education and mental health - for all ages. With our fourth event now behind us, the Square One team is exploring ideas and planning for our next program. Please stay tuned for that.

In conjunction with our public safety departments (police and fire), several community organizations, municipal groups and interested community members, we are collectively exploring the formation of a substance use awareness and prevention task force in Westborough, similar to what many surrounding towns are doing.

All of this requires volunteer support and community input, in both large and small ways. We welcome (and need!) community members to be part of these efforts. If you are interested in being part of planning these events, exploring a task force, or learning more about how to get involved, please reach out to westboroughconnects@gmail.com or Cara Presley at cpresley@town.westborough.ma.us.


Thank you,
The Square One Team
Rotary Club of Westborough, Westborough Youth & Family Services, Westborough Public Schools and Westborough Connects
Notes from the Presentation
We took many notes from Jon's presentation. It isn't possible to boil down his presentation to a few bullet point takeaways, but some of the noteworthy points he shared include:

  • Sometimes you need to talk when you can't see the other person (or their eyes rolling in response to you). Try it in the car or even in the dark.
  • Make space for listening. Do a lot of it...more than talking.
  • Feeling respected is huge for teens and tweens.
  • They may be rude in speaking to you, but they don't always know why. Just know that they won't always be that way.
  • Everything teens do, they do for a reason.
  • It is hard for them to ask for help.
  • Change is a big deal and can come slowly for teens, especially when it means growing out of a bad habit.
  • Can't vs. Won't: know which one it is in any given situation when a teen/tween doesn't do something we want them to. Ask yourself: do they have the capacity to?
  • Never change your expectations, but perhaps change your timeline ("By the time I was your age, I could already....").
  • Kids judge us by our actions. Know that.
  • They need to know what we're thinking.
  • Self-generosity is important. Puts themselves in a good position for the next challenge ("Give yourself a break").
  • Teens don't feel the risk factor of their behavior as intensely as the observers of the behavior (i.e. adults).
  • They are typically at their worst behavior at home. Rely on others to get perspective on it.
  • Ask your children: Who are the 2 or 3 people you would tell if you didn't feel OK?
  • Make sure technology (i.e. phones) doesn't sleep in their room.
  • When discussing their anxiety, ask them to give you a number for how they feel: "Tell me what number you are for anxiety - 1-10?"
  • Worst things to say to someone who is stressed or anxious - "you're fine," or "calm down."
  • Better to say "Tell me more about it," "I'm listening," "Let's breathe together."
  • Practice mindfulness. Give it a chance.
  • 44,000 people die by suicide every year in the U.S. It is the #10 leading cause of death. It is a national health crisis.
Speaker Tips and Recommended Reading
Tips and Information Sheets


Recommended Articles



You can also hear more from Jon Mattleman on his website: www.jonmattleman.com or via Twitter: www.twitter.com/jonmattleman.

Community Resources
508-360-3090


888-244-6843 Monday-Friday between 9 am and 5 pm
Westborough residents now have access to INTERFACE, a mental health resource and referral helpline to help children, adults and families become connected with mental health and wellness resources. It is free for community members of Westborough

800-327-5050
8:00 AM to 10:00 PM Mondays-Fridays
9:00 AM to 5:00 PM Saturdays-Sundays
 
Dial 2-1-1 or 877-211-MASS (6277); 24 hours, 7 days a week
 

Text 741741

 SAMHSA National Hotline
1-800-662-HELP (4357); 24 hours, 7 days a week
1-800-487-4889 (TTY)

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America
1-855-DRUG-FREE (378-4373); business hours


Please Note: This follow-up email was sent to registrants of the January 16, 2020 Square One Speaker Presentation: Secret Lives of Teens and Tweens. Please feel free to forward this to anyone else who would be interested! If you have received this email as a forward from someone else and have not yet subscribed to the Westborough Connects mailing list, you may do so by clicking HERE .
About Westborough Connects

Westborough Connects is an emerging organization focused on building a more-connected and kind community where everybody feels like they belong. We are a volunteer group of parents, educators, community leaders and engaged citizens. Westborough Connects creates opportunities to support and celebrate the diversity, spirit, and character of Westborough through programs and events that are community-based, strengths-based and dedicated to connecting people to resources and each other.