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The late business consultant Gary Halbert was once asked in an interview how someone gets over the fear of doing something.
His answer (paraphrasing):
You don’t. You’re not going to overcome fear. If you’re 100 years old and you see a pretty woman across the restaurant and you want to go talk to her, your heart’s going to be in your mouth. You don’t have a choice of being afraid or not afraid in life. You’re either going to be afraid and frozen… or scared and moving. That’s your choice. How do you do it without being afraid? You don’t. You do it while you’re afraid.
Priceless wisdom.
Everyone fears something.
Failure. Embarrassment. Humiliation. Loss. Pain. Being wrong. Looking foolish or stupid. Even success.
But most think they must overcome the fear before they can take action.
Thus, they never do.
”Fear isn’t an excuse to come to a standstill,” said tennis champion Arthur Ashe, “It’s the impetus to step up and strike.”
Entertainer Taylor Swift put it this way: “I think fearless is having fears, but jumping anyway.”
And in the words of Nobel prize winner André Gide: “There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”
Back in my junior executive days, I was at a crowded business function one evening attended by many lofty city luminaries. As the conversation I was in ended, I turned around and, to my surprise, there I stood face-to-face with the city mayor, who I instantly recognized.
The next day I went to my company president, Bob Brooks, a treasured mentor of mine, excited to toot my own horn and tell him I had been rubbing elbows the night before with city dignitaries… and told him about running into the mayor.
Totally unimpressed, he asked me what I said to him.
“Well, nothing,” I said, “…he’s the mayor. Why would he want to talk to me?”
He looked me squarely in the eye and said…
“Rick, until you can talk to someone powerful, someone of stature, someone of magnitude, and tell him what you think, you’ll never get anywhere.”
That was a punch in the gut. And coming from a mentor, it stung.
I left his office somewhat embarrassed.
But later became zanily excited when I realized that in 30 seconds, I had gotten a priceless life lesson they don’t teach in 4 years of college.
It is simply this…
Fear is seldom overcome. It is merely faced.
And you take action, in spite of it.
Never assume that repetitive winners and highly successful people have conquered their fears.
More than likely, they courageously take action in spite of their fears.
And that is today’s message.
That day was a wake-up call for me. I vowed to change, and knew there was only one way…
…I had to do the things that terrified me most — even while trembling with fear as I did them — even if I failed.
Glad I got that message in my 20s, because it has served me well every day since.
Consider this…
Military warfighters run toward the battle. Firefighters run into the burning building. Law enforcement officers run toward the trouble.
Think they’re not scared? Think again. Most will admit they’re terrified and pumping adrenaline.
Hopefully the fears you face every day aren’t life-threatening.
So what are you really risking besides a bruised ego, dashed spirits, or a skinned knee. You can handle those.
Actions For You:
Here’s a challenge…
Make a list of the 3-5 most important achievements you want to successfully complete in the next 90 days. I mean real game-changers. Ones with powerful results that will dramatically improve your life…
BUT… only choose ones you’ve been procrastinating on because of some tangible or intangible fear.
Now. Try a different approach.
This time…
Don’t try to overcome the fear. Accept it as real. Just take a few deep breathes and let the fear be there.
Then — go for it anyway — fear and all.
What have you got to lose?
Go on. Give it a shot.
Do this a few times and, I’m willing to bet, whatever the outcomes, win or lose, you’ll prove to yourself that fear need never roadblock you again.
Winners get comfortable being uncomfortable — so they make more attempts.
Losers prefer constant comfort — so they make fewer attempts — or may not ever get started.
Don’t let fear win.
Power Thought: “To use fear as the friend it is, we must retrain and reprogram ourselves. We must persistently and convincingly tell ourselves that the fear is here — with its gift of energy and heightened awareness — so we can do our best and learn the most in the new situation.” Peter Williams.
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