Fisher Law Practice, P.C.
The Law Offices of Genesis Fisher, Esq.
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MY EXPERIENCE: MEDIATION + COVID |
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Greetings!
Last month, it finally happened: I got COVID.
At this point, something like 60% of our country has contracted it. My heart goes out to the folks who had the worst cases, who lost their sense of smell and taste, ended up in the hospital, with long COVID, lost their jobs or housing stability and the million Americans who died. Millions of lives have been lost or devastated by this generation-defining crisis. If I could support (and hug) each and every one of these folks and their loved ones, I would.
I hope that I can take a few moments to talk about my experience without taking anything away from them (or from you).
I contracted one of the milder variants. For the first couple of days, I thought I just had bad allergies. For another 3 days, I had what felt like the worst flu I've ever had. My body would randomly shut down and I would sleep for hours at a time. When I was awake --between the nausea, aches, and congestion -- I could barely move.
What followed was a week+ recovery. It was here when I realized my experience and training as a mediator was helping me to process and deal with what was happening to my body. Conflict resolvers are curious people seeking the underlining stories and connections. Below are some reflections from my experience with COVID.
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How Mediation Helped Me Process
My COVID Experience.
A. Mediators Have to Roll with It. I Kept "Scheduling" My Recovery, Then Realized I Had to Let Go.
- The new mediators I mentor almost always fall into the same trap: they listen to both sides and come up with what they think is a fair solution, then spend the rest of their time trying to guide the parties there. But this isn't facilitative mediation. We're supposed to let the parties lead the process, create space to share new information, and help folks discover options and opportunities that they didn't know existed. Whatever plan we might develop, this is their ultimately process, not our own.
- With COVID, I thought I could manage the sickness and recovery through extensive research and developing a plan. I thought "according to x studies/reports, I should have y symptoms for z number of days." I assumed recovery would be linear, because that was my historical experience with other viruses. I was wrong. As I started to recover, I kept coming up with comprehensive schedules to return to work and catch up on projects. But my body had other plans. If I mapped out a day of morning meetings and afternoon writing, at some point my body would demand to sleep deeply for 3-4 hours and I'd wake up well past that writing window.
- The first couple of days, I was frustrated, behind and needed to get work done. Argghhh. Then I pivoted to thinking of it like a mediation. The best mediations are party-driven. And I realized this recovery would be body driven, not mind/will. I let go of the need to control my own recovery.
- As a lawyer, I like planning and certainty. But as a mediator, I am comfortable with uncertainty about what will happen during a session and the result. Thinking of COVID like a mediator helped me let go of my expectations and frustration with my body's inconsistencies and needs.
B. I Experienced a Range of Emotions, Some Surprisingly Positive
- Conflict resolvers are always talking about emotions and the importance of understanding, acknowledging and exploring them in any resolution process. As the saying goes, if we didn't have feelings about things, then most disputes could be solved with a cold, rational evaluation. People need to feel seen and heard, then they can release what they've been holding and embrace solutions.
- When I explore emotions with my students, we talk about how some folks could have positive associations and emotions connected with a particular conflict. This is surprising to those who always think of conflict as negative. But it's incredibly common and should be validated just like other emotions.
- Having COVID totally sucked. But I was surprised by all of the positive emotions I felt. The biggest emotion was relief. I have asthma and was hospitalized for it twice as a kid. For the last two years, I had been carrying a deep fear that contracting COVID would put my life in danger or, at best, cause financial strain because I couldn't work for weeks. I was so fortunate that neither happened. It literally felt like a weight had been lifted.
A conflict resolution lens helped me process my own vulnerability, fear, and uncertainty. Who knew?
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Upcoming Talks and Workshops
June 9, 2022, 3pm ET (virtual, open registration)
PRIDE Tech Summit (Previously Lesbians Who Tech)
So you've been promoted or started your own company? Now what? How do you maintain your integrity and still crush it? Join me at #PrideSummit, hosted by @lesbiantech, as I showcase 3 mediation approaches that leaders can use to connect with their team! Learn more and register here.
June 9, 2022, 6pm ET - In-person (closed event)
JAMS Diversity Fellowship Graduation Ceremony
New York, NY
The inaugural JAMS Diversity Fellows, Genesis Cyrus Dugger and Rachel Gupta, will graduate from the comprehensive one-year program that mentors, trains and promotes outstanding young, diverse attorneys in the ADR field.
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Welcome Our New
Program + Operations Manager, Sami Salloum!
As a global negotiations and mediation enthusiast, Sami brings passion for diplomacy and Alternative Dispute Resolution approaches. He joined FLP after finishing his MS in Conflict Resolution and Negotiations from Columbia University. As a recipient of CUSDS full-ride scholarship, Sami is a Columbia Global Center scholar and Ambassador.
Prior to FLP, Sami worked as a Research Fellow at Security Council Report, focusing on compliance with UN Security Council sanctions regimes and tracking the evolution of the Council’s working methods. He has worked on several other UN advocacy campaigns including Crisis Action, the Secretariat Branch of the Security Council Affairs Division at the UN Department of Political and Peacebuilding Affairs (DPPA) and the UN Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia (ESCWA) in Beirut.
Sami holds a bachelor’s degree in Political Science and International Affairs and a master’s degree in International Affairs from the University of Balamand, Lebanon. He received the award of academic excellence by the Fouad Boutros Foundation, his excellency, former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Lebanon. Sami is a human rights activist and a published scholar. He is fluent in Arabic. (He's also funny, thoughtful and warm)
We are so excited to have Sami on our team!
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Need Workplace Mediation, Executive Coaching or Communication Training?
Call Us Today!
195 Montague Street, 14th floor
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Phone: 917.819.5656
Email: info@fisherlawpractice.nyc
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