Other Decembers, I have dreamed of the turning of the year and gone to great lengths to envision the future, to plan for it, to make intentions manifest.

This last day of December, I am welcoming the glossy dark.

There is certain relief in surrendering to it, letting it be.

I don't mean dark as in despair.

I mean dark as in unlit.

In my name, which has Persian roots, there is the word shab - which means night.

Maybe then, I am surrendering to some part of myself. some true nature that a long, curious, difficult, emotional, stony year has wrought.