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It has always been my dream since I was age 16 to write "award-winning novels," zipping around America on a wild schedule of book signings with a line of fans snaking around the building. I have always dreamt of seeing one of my books up front on a bookstore display - or better yet at an airport store (where the highest-sellers are placed).
As a writer and author, there is not a book I pick up that I don't notice which publishing house produced it, and read about the author and how successful s/he is: awards won, a list of other titles written, what magazines s/he's been published in, etc. I get envious - definitely - of other authors.
Although I am a published author, have written eight books since 1997, and have done book signings, my writing career has been "very small potatoes" compared to those having big-time agents and editors, and their manuscripts picked up by the giant publishing houses.
So, what's stopping me from my dream - besides me? I have no right to be envious of other authors without attempting to write a novel, can I. Reading others' books and walking into a bookstore or library inspires me to want to start that novel. (I already know what the novel will be: based in Sardinia, Italy, the plot centers on my Nonna Antonica's quite interesting, dramatic - even unbelievable - story as she immigrated to America and the enormous hurdles she faced here. Lost her husband at a young age, raised three children by herself, returned to Italy to her parents' home with her three kids to marry her husband's brother (and her sister's husband!), then back to the USA. It would be fantastical fiction yet a story based on truth. I think it would make a good movie, too!)
Okay, pinch me, wake me up ... I have a snippet to write.
Now as one who loves to ride her bike (a former serious cyclist), today there are plenty of other bikes whizzing past me on their biking missions. Back in my serious biking days as I rode 30- to 100-mile events, maybe I would have caught up with them. Even if not, the people in front caused me to pedal faster and harder. (Nowadays, I ride simply for pleasure and fun - I don't give a hoot who passes by.)
Now as a pickleball player, I play in a league in Maryland with a group of guys & girls who hit hard and quick. We're all advanced players, but because some of them are even more advanced, they cause me to step up my game. I am thoroughly challenged to play harder, quicker, and better.
Snippeteers, the people "in front of us" should inspire us, not pull out envy and jealousy from us. Not cause us to crash 'n burn in a pile of wilted self-pity. (What good is that?)
What situation lately has caused you to do better, step it up, kick it in?
What situation lately has caused you to feel envious, jealous, or even bad about yourself?
(Which situation felt better?)
If you want to keep up with that person in front of you ... then keep up. Something they have, something they do well, some situation they created ... any of it can be yours. But feeling negatively toward them isn't going to accomplish it for you.
If I want to be a famous author and start my book tour, I better start writing more books NOW. :D
If you want what that person ahead of you has ... then go get it. Work for it ... do it ... create it ... but don't be jealous and envious because you don't have what s/he has.
Why do we allow in so much intimidation from others? Intimidated by that "perfect" coworker who delivers before deadlines or has a super rapport with The Boss. Intimidated by good-looking people who seem to turn our tongues into a wad of flesh that is unable to form two words?
Jealous of that woman who shows up dressed better than us at an event? Why do we allow feelings of inadequacy walking into someone's beautifully organized and uncluttered home?
Maybe the pretty girl at the wedding shower caused you to sneak into the powder room to apply a brighter lipstick or fluff your hair? Or, the next time you went out, you were inspired to apply a full face of makeup because hers looked so pretty. Maybe the friend who lost a good amount of weight and looks marvelous has inspired you to eat healthier. Maybe the neighbor you bumped into at Petco whose arms looked so 'cut' in a sleeveless shirt, caused you to begin lifting your 10-pound weights daily?
Snippeteers, we are just a bunch of sloppy humans with crazy emotions. Just know that your emotions are no different than the person you are intimidated by. They are sloppy humans, too, with a supply of their own jealousy, envy, intimidation, envy, and dislike.
So, about that person "in front of you" ... catch up whenever you want. They are not stopping you ... you are.
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