Waiting for our neighbor Nancy's funeral service to begin last Saturday afternoon, we sat in the small church watching her sweet and happy smile displayed in a montage of photos on a large screen as they faded one into the next.
I thought how at that very point in our lives ... as we all sat quietly and still ... as we all contemplated precious life and the brevity of it ... as we all stared at the end of one woman's 66 years, that the past is over. What matters is now.
Certainly, each photo of Nancy depicted a cheerful capture of a single instant in her life: during her children's weddings, at a gathering with a group of friends, on a trip, holding her first grandson, toasting with a glass of wine.
Because why would a family choose to show a hard time, a bad time, a sad time, a challenging time of their wife / mom's life? Most likely, her husband and kids were not sitting in the pew thinking about a time they had a spat, or a day Mom sat them in timeout, or a memory of her being angry at them for getting into trouble as a teen. No.
What matters is now.
They were memorializing and celebrating Nancy in the brightest, most magnificent way possible - in sparkling photos and with happy memories they shared as a family. They each stood up to speak about the sweet delightful person she was ... a gracious lady who touched others and affected many she encountered. How she gave selflessly, used her time and talents to serve, how she spent her days doing what she loved the most: gardening, cooking, traveling, reading - and most importantly out of that - loving, caring for, and guiding her family.
Resentments, regrets, and judgements had no place that afternoon. It was not a time for recalling negativity, challenges, or troublesome times. It was a day to celebrate a whole life. Now. Before didn't matter. What matters is now.
As I held onto Hubs, my arm through his, I thought that none of the low points in our 30+ years of marriage mattered that day (and as married creatures, we ALL have those). It felt SO crystal clear to me that what mattered is we are still sitting together in a church, still holding onto each other, feeling emotional together over our neighbor & friend who died too young, and feeling heartbroken together for her sweet husband and three adult kids who must muddle through from here on - without their "Nance."
And during the grand Celebration of Life Party for Nancy in her lovely back yard across the street, it felt so crystal clear to me while chatting and being with our other good neighbors of over 25 years, that what mattered is we are still together. We may not see each other as much as we did when the kiddies were young, but we are still blessed with these good people, with each other's friendships, holding onto each other, feeling emotional together over our neighbor & friend now gone to heaven. We are still important to each other. That's what matters now.
Snippeteers, we hear and read the message over and over and over ... AND OVER AGAIN ... about how life is now, live for today, life only matters at this moment, yesterday is gone, today is the only time we have, we can't depend on tomorrow, be happy for this moment, we are RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
Yea, yea, yea, yada, yada, yada. These quotes, cliches, adages, signs on our walls and posted in our offices, can seem mundane, overused, and meaningless. We can sometimes glaze over them because we hear them SO often.
But really, they ring true. Yesterday doesn't matter now. We've come so far. What matters is now.
"We are all just walking each other home."
~ Ram Dass
