Snippeteers, are you the kind of individual who trusts yourself with your decisions? Or do you usually run to others for help, validation, and answers? Not that there is anything wrong with seeking some guidance, to talk through a situation, look at both sides, get another objective, etc. But when you know something FEELS RIGHT in your gut, does it matter what anyone else thinks?

Hubs and I recently made a major life decision to downsize. At this point of being ages 66 and 78, a large home is just too much to manage anymore, generates too many bills, contains too many empty rooms (which makes us sad that the kids grew up and left!), and requires too much responsibility. We also do not want our four kids to one day have to clean it out - none of us are immortal, and it needs to be done.

We are seeking simpler.

This big news to our kids did not go over so well and I truly feel sorry that our decision affected them to such an upset. I understand! My three siblings and I were equally as upset when we had to clean out and say farewell to our childhood home of 45 years.

Not that we wanted to make anyone cry (my bestie neighbor, too), but when a decision is good ... and feels right for you ... it should not matter how anyone else feels about it.

You need to do FOR YOU what you need to do. Yeah, it's no fun to make others cry 😢 over your decision, yet your head has to trump your heart.

We cannot stay in our big home simply because the kids don't want to let it go. (Are they paying the high property taxes???) We know the practical reasons for our decision and we are excited! It's been 100% refreshing and liberating to clear out the STUFF and donate, sell, give to friends/family. (Believe me, the kids would cry harder if THEY had the task of cleaning out the house!)

When your gut tells you IT'S RIGHT, then it's right. Your feelings on it matter the most. You do not need to run to others for validation.

When it's good for you ... do it.

Snippeteers - I can't be trusted to remember everyone's locale.

PLEASE remember to include your TOWN / STATE when you backtalk ...

even if you think I know it already!

"I sooo hear you about reliable friends - I know who to ask if I really want something done!!" :-)

~ Daryl in Maryland

"Don't expect more from some people than they are capable of being or doing ... whether emotionally or physically. You can keep them as friends because you like them, BUT with their limitations noted in advance. Maybe this is lowering your expectations or just being realistic. They might make a great dessert you love, but don't rely on them for times of need!!"

~ Joanne in New York

"This one hit me like a brick. I have my best friend from when we were five years old; she has always been unreliable, yet I always considered it her environment (bad marriage, no car, lots of problems). I am an only child, so she has been my 'sister' and I care so much for her. But since she remarried in 2020, something has snapped.

She has never been completely reliable for attending my parties, for visits, etc., but lately, I've given up. I invited her to fireworks in July, but 'it's too hot' she said. She asked for plant cuttings, to which I replied, 'Sure, come on over.' NOTHING. No never mind or thanks - nothing. Baby showers, birthday parties for my grandkids - it's always, 'I forgot.' (So glad my family is that memorable for her!) I was in the hospital for a few days with pneumonia (maybe that warrants a visit or a phone call? Nope). My daughter-in-law asked me, since she hasn't seen my friend around. 'Isn't she your friend anymore?' I said, 'I don't know.'

I used to get really hurt when she didn't come to events or didn't text or call, but I gave up. Friendship is a two-way street. I've tried, but I'm tired. If she wants my friendship back, she needs to give a little. At least your article made me feel like I'm not alone."

~ Karan A in Middle River, Maryland

REPLY to Karan from Suz ... "Interesting that the words 'tried' and 'tired' are a switch of one letter! We do get tired from trying. I've learned to LET GO of those so-called friends who display none of what a friend should be."



happiness comes when we stop whining

about the troubles we have ...

and offer thanks

for the troubles we do not have