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Life is nothing like the brochure ... one of my favorite quotes.
Yesterday we experienced another Thanksgiving as we paused to give thanks for the great abundance in our lives. Yet somehow during the other 364 days, we tend to forget the good. We focus instead (sometimes) on what we don’t have.
Why do we forget?
This is just my philosophy as a human; I’m no psychologist ... but I think we get preoccupied with some other better scenario ... over there. Not here in front of us … over there. We are adept at fantasizing, which is what travel brochures are designed to do – help us fantasize.
Yet life is really nothing like the brochure. Realizing that can help us to focus on our blessings.
We fantasize about being on a tropical island – or about living in that perfectly interior-designed home in the real estate brochure. We fantasize about working in our ideal career shown in a company’s brochure – or dream of not having to work at all! Maybe at times we fantasize being married to a different spouse – that guy or girl over there. (You know that guy – he can fix anything. And he cooks!)
What’s wrong with that picture of Hawaii in the brochure? For starters, there are no sharks. A promo for Hawaii is not going to show icky things lurking in the water. Would you book a ticket there if you thought you'd lose a few toes?
The brochure for Africa shows a guy on safari kneeling and taking photos in front of two massive elephants about 20 feet away. What's wrong with that picture? First, he'd not be allowed to get out of the vehicle on a safari. (I went on a safari in Africa last year; we could not exit the jeep. Way too dangerous!) Secondly, he was probably kneeling in elephant doo-doo while his wife stood behind him nagging, “Henry! Don’t get so close, we’re gonna get traaaammmpled!”
Life is nothing like the brochure.
Life is nothing like the magazine ad either. There are zero blemishes on the models’ faces. No one has bedsheets that perfectly smooth and tucked in. And who has time to cook those beautifully-arranged colorful dishes with parsley and lemon garnishes?
An ad with a lady in Tahiti shows her serving dinner rolls to a bunch of what seems to be really hungry kids as they fumble for a roll on her platter. Anyhow, who serves dinner rolls in a meadow next to the ocean with a flower in her hair to kids that aren't even hers?
Life is certainly not like TV shows, movies and commercials either. Do you have any friends who feel delightfully happy holding a toilet brush? (Maybe they’d feel that joyful cleaning their toilet if that muscular and handsome Mr. Clean was standing in their bathroom.)
Commercials show how detergents magically take out blood stains. You may have heard the joke - if you have clothes with blood stains all over them, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem?
And here's my favorite ... do you roll over and kiss your husband or wife on the mouth first thing in the morning without either of you brushing your teeth or gargling with mouthwash? (Gag me.)
Even on Facebook we fantasize - what’s over there. One year on the Monday after Thanksgiving, I changed my facebook page cover photo to one of our previous Christmas tree photos from another year. The train was resting on its track underneath, Baby Jesus was nestled in his manger, and a pile of gifts were neatly wrapped under the tree. One of my facebook friends commented, “REALLY?” And I said, "Nooo, not really!" She thought I had already put up and decorated the tree, set up the train, unpacked Baby Jesus, and bought and wrapped all of the gifts by Black Friday. Yeah, right.
Illusions. Media and social media show us so many. We buy into the fake perception ... because we are busy looking – over there.
A study once found that THREE minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful. It does not help that the average woman sees 400 to 600 advertisements per day. No wonder we’re fantasizing!
I challenge you – and me – to realize that it is NOT better ‘over there.’ Look closer … there is no greener grass. The Jones’ green grass has moles, fire ants, and weeds, too.
We must look in our own laps, focus on our own lives, say thanks for our own luxuries and count our own sweet blessings. Our lives are what we have created personally and professionally. Let’s be happier with our realities.
By the way … happiness is an inside job … another of my favorite quotes.
Fantasizing about what we think might make us happy “over there” … I guarantee when you drag it over here, you'll look at it differently.
- If only I had her big boobs - THEN I’d be happy.
- If only I had her job - THEN I’d be happy.
- If only I had her checkbook, her hair, her long nails, her perfectly formed buttocks, yes, then I’d be happy.
- If only I had her husband - who can fix anything. Happy.
- If only I had her talent, her looks, her creativity, her sports car, her wardrobe, her gorgeous kitchen, and her shade of lipstick. Happy!
Let's erase all that "I'm nothing" attitude and instead put OURSELVES on that pedestal. Not in a conceited way – in a self-appreciating way. Let’s examine our good parts as much as we examine the next person's.
Do you think more inner peace might accompany that? I do.
Be happy with your things, your hubby (you picked him), your talents, your looks, your car, your clothes … and if one of those really truly makes you unhappy – get rid of it.
And getting a little tough on you for a second … do you really, truly want something she or he has? Then go get it! Go create it for yourself.
Illusions. Fantasies. We make them up – or they are shown to us falsely in brochures and magazines. But keep in mind ... life is nothing like the brochure.
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