Happy Friday, snippeteers ...
The guy who pedaled past me on the bike trail might have caused me to think one of these:
A) Hmmm, his legs must be stronger and he's a better cyclist!
B) I'm going too slow - he passed me by!
C) That dude has nothing to do with my pedaling.
Sometimes I pass people, too, on the bike trail, and yet, I have nothing to do with their cycling strength and pace.
Lounging with pup Lupini in bed for 15 minutes upon awakening had nothing to do with my friend and neighbor simultaneously walking her dog past my house at 7:30 a.m. That might have caused me to think one of these:
A) Hmmm, I should walk my dog every day like she does.
B) How lazy am I lounging in bed while she's outside exercising already!
C) Her walking and my lounging have zero to do with each other.
When another person is saying, acting, or looking similarly to us, what do we tend to do? WE COMPARE. We lay down the two situations side by side. Yet, in fact, that other person has ZERO to do with our actions, our words, our looks, our activities, our traits, our experiences. NOTHING. Zilch. Diddly. Nada. Niente. Zippo. Squat.
He is he. She is she. You are you. I am me. That's it. We work at our own paces - at everything. Do toddlers all learn to potty train at the same ages? Did we all get married at age 25? Have each of us owned a business, been a CEO, or a stay-at-home parent? Do all of us know how to hang-glide, train a horse, write a book, make jewelry, crunch numbers, act in a film, or paint in watercolor?
- Her body and eating habits have nothing to do with yours.
- His bank account balance and investments is not related to your financial situation.
- Her charismatic way with people is no reflection on your shyness.
- His career accomplishments are in no way connected to your employment.
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Whatever people are bragging about on social media has nothing to do with us: their houses, car models, talents, children, clothes, activities, workouts, or whatever else we're feeling left out of ... has diddly to do with our houses, car models, talents, children, clothes, activities, workouts, or whatever else we're feeling left out of.
Get it?
People do what they do, wear what they wear, buy what they buy, raise kids the way they raise kids ... simultaneously ... while it has naught to do with us ... even if we happen to be doing that EXACT thing. There should be no comparisons happening - none at all. We beat our own drums. We march in our own parades. We pedal to our own paces. We sing our own songs. We butter our own rolls. We live our own lives. We clip our own toenails.
The more we compare (most likely perceiving ourselves to be the LOWER human - gasp!), the worse it can make us feel about ourselves. When we cease comparing ... when we can set ourselves apart from others ... well that will be a really fine day.
“Whatever happens around you,
don’t take it personally.
Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
